I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
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