I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
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