I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
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