Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
This couple is walking their pig around campus
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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