I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
foreskin is a definite game changer
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize