we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My vagina just recognized that song.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
If I asked you to guess what I'm doing right now how many guesses would it take to get to really high eating an apple bumping techno
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
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