y did u give ur computer a hand job?
remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
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