Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Randomize