Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
Eat your greens and take your tequila shots
If you were to to ask if I just hid 4 shooters or Jameson it my bra and panties the anwer would be yes, yes I did
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
Randomize