She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Is it rude to ask for an autograph after giving him a blowjob in their hotel's hot tub?
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And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
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On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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