"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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