apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
what day is it and did you see me today?
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
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