woke up naked, gf gone. There is a cup of change in the fridge, a bird in the bathroom, and odie is drawn on my ceiling. I live in a non sequitur
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize