dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
tonight i'm going for the "i fuck with the lights on" look
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Is it weird that I want to have sex wearing my glasses and lab coat while having an actual scientific discussion?
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
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