i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I could be the Kenny Powers of Sex Therapists.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
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