I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
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