my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
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She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
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I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize