will power is for people who don't want to get laid
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Randomize