i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Randomize