I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
the only way to explain how i feel is someone rolled me down a big fucking hill and then a dog came a took a huge ruthless shit in my mouth at the bottom
Im blowing my nose and the only thing coming out is beer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize