And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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