so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
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I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Posting happy birthday to my grandpa on Facebook.... Then realizing my profile pic is me dressed as a slutty cop when he used to be a police officer.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
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Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
i woke up fully clothed with teenage dream on repeat. something is wrong with me
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