She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Saw a sign earlier "Domino's Lava Cakes $3.00" and I thought of you. This text brought to you by thing I don't need to know about your sex life.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
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