Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Fucking finally I'm about to die from sobriety over here
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Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
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Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
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