So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I really care about you, but im still gonna have to make you pay for dinner from the pain and suffering in my knees and vagina.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize