why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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