You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
I positioned my bed perfectly so around 10 a.m. every morning there are rays of sunshine coming through the window in my room. Now i can tan while PTFO.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
My phone autocorrected your name to "grownup." that couldn't be more inaccurate. I'm getting a new phone.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize