I am puke
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I'll just go on tinder. Seeking strong male to help take apart ikea furniture and move. I'll touch your dick.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize