I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize