God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize