You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
Ever since I got married, I've become the MacGuyver of masturbation
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
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