You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, you were so wasted she couldn't wait. She was grinding your face while you were passed out in the yard.
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
He just showed up. He's like 5'8 and brought a beer pong table that has " I love gay boys" on it. How could this go wrong
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
Someone signed my nipple.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize