i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
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