Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize