Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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