My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
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