At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
To the person who left a cup of vomit in the bathroom: I commend you for your aim but you are dead to me- not an ideal birthday present.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
After you finished the $300 bottle of wine you just started crying about how if Mulder and Scully didn't invite you to join the x-files your life would be meaningless because you "love that weird shit"
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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