i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
do you ever wish you could like, jerk your heart off and be, like, emotionally satisfied? it'd feel like cuddling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
Randomize