I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
So I just noticed that my last drunk google search before going to bed last night was "ghosts based on gays." I have no idea what that's supposed to mean
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
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