so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
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Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
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You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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