belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
Randomize