I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize