i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
we made out on top of his cat.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
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