Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
It's never too late to be topless.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
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