then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude. late night with jimmy fallon isnt even funny. the people in the audience there to see him dont even think hes funny.
kinda like you and your friends.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
finding my wedding ring encrusted in vomit this morning really just topped off last night...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
He once got bit in the face by a dog and still got laid the same night. He owns Memorial Day Weekend
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
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