the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
you had acid sex with the barista. why is my bucket list your tuesday?
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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