i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
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Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
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The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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