Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
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