ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
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I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
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GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
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