I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Being hungover in this office is the actual worst. Like they look at me and know I was wasted at 1 am, karaokeing Billy Idol at a gay bar.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize